Goodbye yesterday
by violette27
Summary: In which Yoh has a child, Hao is oblivious, and somehow the world is saved by the power of love (again). Hallelujah. Mpreg. Incest (HaoYoh).


**Disclaim: I own nothing except for some OCs.**

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 **PROLOGUE: When the stars falling down**

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Yoh'd hardly noticed it at first, the gradual but definite change in his body, merely brushing if off as a slightly fatter belly even though he had been working more and eating less these days. Easily fatigued? Check, but it must have been for all the work and training Anna put him through. Vomit in the morning just as often? Check, but it must have been him not familiar with the food or weather in the countries they travelled by. Feeling weird in his stomach without being hit? Sure, let look at the answer number one again.

Despite all of his denial, Yoh had to face the truth some times later at a hospital somewhere in Germany. It was a miracle that Yoh managed to pull himself together and not faint right after hearing the doctor's conclusion. He also sent a heartfelt thanks to Heaven that he wasn't accompanied by Anna, because the blond girl would surely throw a fit over the hospital.

He didn't visit any other medical institution, but made sure to sneak around and destroyed all the documents about his so – called illness. The Medical Confidentiality might have held the leak of information for a while, but Yoh didn't trust the doctor not to spill his secret out in the long run, not when his case proved to be a little bit more than special.

One week after that, Yoh found himself continuously burying his head in the sand in their rental apartment, lamenting about his fate, until Anna was totally fed up with his "sloth" behaviors and decided to drag him out by the ear. Yoh was surprisingly good at dodging the questions aimed at him from his fiancé, but he knew it couldn't last long under Anna's scrutinizing gaze.

It was three days later that Yoh finally made up his mind.

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Anna didn't deal well with their break up.

He had expected her to lash out immediately, maybe start with beating the crap out of him before settling down to asking for reasons. But she just stood there, silent and – oh, of course, she was always a strong girl, so she held her chin high and in her eyes there was almost a haunting gleam that sent shiver down his spine.

"I've told you before." She said, "If you betray me, I will never forgive you."

Yoh knew it was her way to tell him to start spilling his guts now _or else_ , but he also knew he couldn't provide her the truth. So he put on a small smile, feeling like a complete bastard, and replied, "I love somebody else."

It was not the entire truth, but it was true nevertheless. Somewhere in their long journey, his love for Anna had developed from a crush to something much more profound, yet it was different from the kind of love the blonde had for him. He could fight for her, die for her, but he couldn't lie to her and hope to get away with _this_.

It was really a shame, because Yoh could imagine easily that they would make a family together as husband and wife, living together until the end of their lives. But that dream had been long shattered into million pieces by his own hands. His sin.

Or maybe all had started when he first wanted to save his brother.

After all, who would ever think just one night of passion would end up with a child of his twin brother in his belly?

He pretended not to see the tear unshed in her eyes as she walked away, looking at her until her whole body was swallowed in the orange light of the dawn.

She never looked back.

The legendary left slap of Anna rendered him unable to eat anything at least several days.

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Yoh never knew pregnancy could be this painful. Every single morning he woke up feeling like shite with the overwhelmed desire to throw all his organs out, then continued shuffling through the daylight much less than human but more like a zombie. Sometimes, all the vomit left him so disoriented he hardly could eat or drink anything. His strength was gradually depleted day by day, and it was a wonder that he could still keep the child with all the malnutrition and the travelling he had to endure.

Yoh felt like a wreck. He knew he looked like one, too.

The only bright spot was that with the time passed by, Yoh's mind became clearer and clearer. He hardly suffered through mood swings like these he had once read about in the books.

Yoh thought he was doing relatively well not freaking out about the whole thing, but his Guardian Spirit was not. Amidamaru, the mighty "Demon Samurai," often reduced to a swirly ball of worry and anxiety when it came to Yoh and his child, especially after their little trip to hospital to observe a labour scene.

(Yoh would never forget the trauma caused by that day. Amidamaru passed out in the middle of the process while Yoh shivered like a leaf in strong winds throughout the whole fiasco. It was only by sheer will that hold the young man still and wide awake till the very end.)

All in all, there was only one problem. He needed a good doctor – preferable a discreet one that asked no uncomfortable question and willingly helped him through this.

However, the list of people he could ask for help was sadly small.

He would not dare think about returning home in Japan in his current state.

 _The break up with Anna. Incest. Hao's child._ If his grandfather or grandmother caught wind of any of those things, he was sure there would be another order for elimination in Asakura clan in this generation.

Faust was his perfect choice, except that the man was dead and was tied too deep with Anna. Ren naturally came next to line, but even as Yoh could trust him with his secret, he didn't put such faith in his recent choice of company in the form of a certain Holy girl. About Horihori and Chocolove… Yoh'd already had a full hand of a freaked out Amidamaru on his plate, might as well not recruit the others in the panic party.

The more Yoh thought about it, the more he realized he couldn't rely on any of his contacts in Shaman World. Thanks to the certain ability to piss off everyone and the overweening vanity, his brother had seemed to make it the mission of his life to rub everyone the wrong way at least a few times in the S.K.F, and even Yoh sometimes wanted to punch him on the face until he came to his sense, dear brother or not.

Anyways, it left him for only one choice.

 _Manta_.

They had fallen out shortly after the end of the Shaman King, heading for their own destinations with a promise to keep in touch. The last time he heard, which had been about three months ago, the short man had enrolled in a prestigious university in USA, determined to take over his family's business. Maybe Manta would lend him a hand.

So Yoh set up a trip to USA, and hoped for the best.

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Unsurprisingly, Yoh never got to see USA.

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On that day, Yoh was the first one to see them. Two huge men standing near a vendor across the street. The brunet had to give them points for their effort to blend in the crowd, but all the efforts in the world couldn't help with their bulky frames and their weird taste in clothes (Really, who told them to mix feathers on the hair with salary man suits?)

Just one glance Yoh could already tell that they were shamans, and since he didn't want to deal with anything relating to shaman right now except for his friends, he turned his back and walked as fast as he could towards his apartment. The security of the place is questionable, but beggar couldn't be chooser, so Yoh locked the rusty door and sunk down to his sofa, groan softly as his back leaned down against the pillows. His back hurt a lot these days.

He lost track of time after that, taking a nap that he wasn't aware of, only to be roughly waken up by a thunderous sound somewhere nearby. He also smelled a strange, sweet scent reminding him of ripped peaches and fresh hydrangeas, the kind of stuff that shouldn't be mixed together.

Unwanted guests in these shady places usually spelled "BIG TROUBLE" in capital, so Yoh knew better than to just lie down here completely vulnerable like this. But his body felt wrong, too heavy for him to even waggle a finger.

His vision was too blurred to see more than the vague outlines of the two shamans on the street he saw earlier this day, his half- unconscious mind buzzing faintly and failing to function properly.

 _Who are you people? What are you doi-_ _ **Don't touch him!**_

 _Oh… A human spirit? Hey, we mean no harm here. We just want to take this person away for a while. He is very important to us._

 _Idiot, Jep! Can't you see this ghost is this one's Guardian Spirit? Get rid of him now!_

 _What are you two doing here? And Master will not go anywhere! Let go of him!_

 _Sorry, can't help it. He is our mission…_

 _ **What-Aaaaaargh!**_

 _Talk less and work faster, Jep. We don't have time. I don't want to face another man in uniform asking us for ID. Breaking into house seemed to be a crime here._

 _Aw, Roz, you have no fun. I almost want to see him draw his swords. They look kinda cool. Anyways, Are you sure he is the one? I don't think there is something holy in him. He looked like a dead raccoon to me. Should have chec– What the…?! Dear God, he's really pregnant! What should we do now Roz? Suddenly I can see the holy light rolling off him! It's blinding!_

 _ **Of course**_ _he is the one. Now shut your mouth and help me carry him… God, how can I be stuck doing mission with you of all people? Even a monkey has much better brain than you, and it never talks back._

 _You don't have to be so mean, Roz. I just want to make sure. You know the head clan would skin us alive if we bring back the wrong person._

 _For God's sake, Jep. Shut your mouth up and get to work or I swear I'll make you do it._

 _Jeez…'Kay, I'm on my way._

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 ** _One, two, three, four days…_**

Yoh made his escape right after the tranquilization had gone off. With Antiquity no longer in his hand (Poor Amidamaru, he must have been worried sick right now), Yoh had no choice but summoned the Spirit of Earth to aid his escape.

His furyoku is dangerously low, so he could only summon the small form of the Spirit for a few minutes before it dissipated into the thin air. However, those few precious minutes was enough to help him knock out three men on his run, scared people on his path, and grant him a chance to make it headfirst into the woods.

The evergreen surroundings suggested that he had been abducted to a place deep in the forest, and from the way those people dressed and the old style of the buildings, Yoh assumed that he might have been in the hand of some mysterious tribe.

The only tribes Yoh knew were the Patch and Mionare, one of them already extinct while the other was either resurrected or still lived within the Great Spirit – whatever suited the mood of his evil brother better.

Yoh couldn't make it far though. The fatigue got the better of him.

When he reopened his eyes, Yoh found himself bound to a bed, wearing a white, long cloth that was definitely not of his possession. The number of people – guards - around him increased to ten, all wary eyes and stoic faces who later introduced themselves as the warriors of Yigol tribe.

They kindly told him that his Guardian Spirit stayed exactly where he'd last seen, meaning poor Amidamaru was currently stuck at the tiny apartment with only the landlord who often yelled for money as a companion. They also told him that they'd got rid of his clothes, along with his _claw necklace_ , lest he would use them as medium to summon any spirit.

Yoh was nearly consumed by his rage at the mention of his neck lace being cast away. But clearly they didn't know what kind of Spirit the S.O.E was, so the young man kept his mouth shut and silently mapped out his retrieve and escape plan.

 ** _Five, six, seven, eight nine days…_**

They said he was the bearer of their God.

Yoh would like to laugh if his head wasn't spinning so fast and his stomach wasn't churning so much.

Really, he had bang a _demigod_ but he hadn't been aware that the piece of information had run fast in the circles of some tribes. And if his child was a God, then it should make more sense if the Patch tribe had come fetch him, not this strange one. It was not like that he complained or something, but if Hao appeared right now, he would love to have a long talk with his brother. And this time, he was not above using violence as a means to settle things down. Peace of the world to be damn.

Yoh asked them for more clarity, but only met with silence in return.

They made him drink a cup of purple tea every day. Yoh eyed the lukewarm liquid with distrust as they explained how it would help his health and clear his mind.

However, the moment he realized the drink ate his memories away, Yoh broke into a run again.

He failed.

 ** _Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen days…_**

He couldn't count how many cups of purple water he had drunk.

He'd forsaken his escape plan because he couldn't risk doing it anymore, not when his body was worn out days by days, his mind like a cheese cake with too many holes in it. He found himself forget a lot of things these days, from small things like what he'd eaten for dinner yesterday to the big things like the faces of some faceless people who sometimes swarmed in his head, asking for remembrance.

In his wildest dreams, he got glimpses of freezing ice needles grazing his cheeks, feeling the heat of hell fires burning the ground, hearing the echoes of thousands voices calling out, but none of them could reach him.

He touched the nothingness in the unreal world and held it in his palms, searching for a hand that can hold him back.

Yoh was scared that one day, he would lose all of his memories.

He knew he could get out of here, but not without costing the child in his body.

And that, was the hefty price he couldn't afford.

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Yoh counted the days up to thirty until he no longer remembered why he had to count. Shortly after that, he forgot how he'd first got here, and why he had been bounded to the bed.

 _To avoid hurting yourself._

A half - naked man explained it to him when he loosened the rope around his wrists. He simply wore green pants, no shoe. His tall frame cast shadow all over Yoh as he loomed over to check on him, and some of his long black strands – already pinned up by golden and silver head band with tassels at the ears – fall down into Yoh's vision.

 _You are our hope. You are not allowed to be hurt, not even by yourself._

Other man, same outfit with the additional of a cream –colored tunic and a colorful feather cap, chimed in. He was the authority figure here- maybe their leader.

Yoh felt like he should have remembered something very important, but he couldn't. His fingers curled around into a fist, and suddenly he was struck with the longing for something to hold. A cold, somewhat heavy thing, one that he always carried… A red, sharp thing…

What was it? What was missing?

His mouth was dry, so he asked for water.

They complied and gave him a cup of purple water. Yoh eyed it suspiciously but drank it down nevertheless – _having no other choice_ \- and he forgot altogether the uneasy feelings in his chest, consuming by the bliss of ignorance.

When he woke up again, he no longer remembered who he was.

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 _Hana._ He whispered softly, his thumb tracing circles on his belly.

There were many other, more _proper_ names the tribe head had offered him for his child, but Yoh had already made up his mind.

 _Hana._ He mused, feelings a tingle of nostalgia in this mere sound.

He caught a flash of blond strands, of black and fire. Lots of fire.

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His name is Yoh, no last name, and he was the bearer of the new God.

Yoh was rather skeptical at the last part, but he wisely kept it in mind, for all the people around him seemingly having absolute faith in the notion. They bowed low whenever he passed by, murmuring prays and wishes; some even stopped and worshipped the land he'd stepped on that left Yoh cringe inside.

He stayed at home a lot these days, partly because of the tribe's overwhelmed behaviors but mostly because his health didn't allow him to. There was no food could vanquish his urge to vomit, no medicine could cure his mirage, no herb could ease the frequent pain in his stomach. He was often caught between the border of hallucination and reality, one moment drowning in meteor stars and the next one thrust back to the bed in the dim room.

There were always companions nearby him all day. Sometimes they talked to him in hushing voices, sometimes they just silently sat there, tending to his every need. Oddly enough, Yoh found no console in their constant presences and their soothing words, only the deep root feelings of strangeness and loneliness. He smiled and thanked them often enough though, because they showed nothing but hospitality to him.

Yoh might have lost some (most) of his memories, but that didn't mean he had lost his manner as well.

One particular day, Yoh cracked his eyes open and saw the whole village buzzing with life. The sun had already set under the horizon line, but the bright glow of torches set up around the houses and roads lit everything up brightly, like it was still in the daylight.

Yoh was lying in the stone table in the centerpiece of the village, his body turning numb at the cold that seeped through his thin clothes. He had no idea how he'd got here, but soon the question was the last thing in his mind, driving away by the pain following. And what an excruciating pain it was! It convulsed Yoh's entire body in shock, tearing howling screams out of his mouth and into the black sky.

Around him, people started chanting.

There was no star tonight.

 _The time has finally come,_ an old voice declared serenely, hefting his cane towards the black pitch sky, _We shall welcome our God tonight._

Yoh hardly saw anything beyond the blackness and the curtain of his own tears, until _it_ came into his peripheral vision.

The thing was cloaked in blinding white, with a nondescript mask on what might be its face – a mask that did not have eye holes, nor any for a mouth or a nose. It only had three red stripes on its left side. From his position, Yoh only made the vague line of its hulky upper form, the twisting from side to side of its head, as well as the hand-like claws that promptly plunged deep into his belly without any warning.

 _Pain. Pain. Breath in. breath out. Pain. Pain. Can't breathe._

Yoh paid no attention to tears streaming down his cheeks. At this very moment, he felt lost in the sea of pain. There was only a steady, small sound of a beating heart that anchored him. His child. He had carried the tiny life in his body for too long it was so hard to think they would be separated.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, something snapped to life. A thread connected between two half-souls. Yoh felt its feathery touch brushing his soul, in just a fleeting second. He almost heard a sound coming from abyss, calling out for him. The one whose name that he had forgot, the one whose face that he couldn't remember.

Yoh desperately wanted to answer it, answer _him_ , but he couldn't.

He felt it in his bones - a very important part of him was being taken away. The worst of all was that he couldn't do anything about it.

 _Somebody helps me. Please, help me!_

Maybe it was eternity, maybe it was just minutes, but at one point, Yoh saw himself detached from his own body, hovering above the stone. He watched in horror as the deity slowly retracted its hand-like claws from his belly, taking outside a glow bubble.

Inside that, one could see the form of a newborn baby.

Yoh desperately tried to approach it, but despite his best effort, all he could do was struggling and screaming to no avail.

The deity raised the baby high over its head, gaining a thunderous uproar from the villagers.

 _Our new God,_ they sang, drowning in their ecstasy. _He who guide us back to glory days. Rebirth. Reincarnation. Our new God._

 _No,_ Yoh thought frantically, _he is… he is…_ _ **our child**_ _…_

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He woke up to the new morning of the next day. His body was no longer heavy, but it hurt everywhere.

Still feeling hazy, he drank in purple water somebody gave him.

He was told that his name was Yoh, no last name; and last night, he had given the birth of the new God.

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 **A/N:** They say that 'If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.' So here I am.

I've re-readed "Shaman King" lately, and somehow it hits me right in the feels. It didn't take long for the plot bunny to show up and well, let's say the rest is history.

I know the SK fandom is not as active as it was in the past. But I'd be appreciate if you show me some encouragement with reviews and such~ Thank you!


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